Who Wants a Perfect Love Story, Anyway?
I used to think that when I met the right person, my life would be lit automatically. I’m talking perfect man, perfect job, house, car crib…the whole shebang. What’s crazy is…I got all of that and then some. I didn’t get it at one time, or even in order for that matter. Actually, as I was moving towards this bright future of mine…I had to take tremendous steps backwards in order to move forward. Now that I’m married with a baby, I want to share with the world just how I got here.
I remember saying that when I found happiness, that I would never look back. Why should I look back on the past when I was so miserable? Why look to the past when I could focus solely on my future? The not so simple answer is this: sometimes the past plays a critical role to both our present & future.
I met my husband in the summer of 2014. Things were like the perfect love story for all of 3 months, if that. We started making plans for the future almost immediately (minus the kid, lol). We both had jobs, were falling madly in love with each other, young and living with just about no worries. But then it happened: We started moving backwards. One year, two years into the relationship, it felt like we were worse off than when we were with our ex’s! You know what though, moving backwards is exactly what we needed to move forward.
When everything’s going right in a relationship, it’s easy to get comfortable. Things seem a little bit too perfect, so at some point you’re looking for problems. Sometimes, you find exactly what you’re looking for too. Now a few years in and several break-ups later, you’re desperately trying to figure out how you went from being madly in love to going their separate ways. There’s a quote that says:
Stop looking for happiness in the same place that you lost it. – Anonymous
What my relationship made me realize is that sometimes we have to go back to the same place where we lost happiness, to regain it. Here I was, 2 and a half years in…and I had to go back in time to see what went wrong. To figure out what I needed to change to better myself, and tbh I think my husband had to revisit the first weeks we met a few times lol.
I’m not saying live in the past, I’m just saying it’s critical to revisit it from time to time. Whatever the reason. . . whether it be to remind yourself of your worth, to reflect on moments of sunshine when you’re going through a storm, or to even humble yourself. No matter the reason for revisiting the past; I don’t want you to feel bad for doing so.
Do you recall a time where you had to move backward to get ahead? Let me know all about it in the comments!