I’m never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me. Because every time I open, I get hurt. So I’m never get to close to you, even when I mean the most to you; in case you leave me in the dirt.  – Sam Smith

 

The other day, I was in Macy’s doing a little shopping. I had a rough week, so I decided to take some time to myself…roaming the three floors of Macy’s while my son slept majority of the time in his stroller. I spent the entire day in the store, from sun up literally until sundown. See, I lost someone recently. No, this person didn’t pass away (thank God), but I think our friendship is dying. I haven’t quite coped with it yet, to be honest I’m not sure that I know how. This isn’t the first time we’ve failed to see eye to eye, but something in my heart tells me it just might be the last. To make matters a bit worse; this time I opted to say goodbye instead of saving years of friendship that mean everything to me.

Way Too Good at Goodbyes

While in Macy’s, I heard Sam Smith’s Way Too Good at Goodbyes. Haven’t heard it? Listen here before continuing this blog. Ya’ll…when I tell you that I broke down right there in the department store?? I’m not lying. Have you ever had a song that really spoke to your soul? I thought I had before, but I was wrong. I had spent the day before crying for a while, so I could have sworn I was all cried out lol. Nope, Sam got me. Listening to this song made me realize one thing: I said goodbye not because I wanted to, but because I’ve gotten better at losing people. Or maybe I should say I’ve gotten used to it. This needs to be talked about, because I know I am not the only person that goes through this.

 

Break-Ups are Heartbreaking

Let’s face it: break-ups are heartbreaking, depending on your relationship with the other person. Wait, let me clarify something: break-ups don’t have to be just significant others, they can happen between friends as well. Alright, now let’s continue. Have you ever lost your best friend? I mean truly lost one of the few people in the world that knew more about you than anybody else in the world? It can truly feel like the worse breakup that you’ve ever been through. Just to write on the subject is disheartening, but I know someone else needs to see this. It’s okay to love someone else so much, that losing them feels like losing a piece of yourself. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be broken. To break down. What’s not okay is feeling like you have to say goodbye to the people you love instead of finding a new way to say hello. What do I mean by that? Let’s continue reading, shall we?

 

Sometimes, we’d rather say goodbye than to fight. I get it, not everything is worth fighting for. Things that aren’t worth fighting for, aren’t what I am writing about tonight though. I’m talking about fighting for things/people/situations that have clearly made us better people, put us in better situations, introduced us to a better quality of living, and the list goes on.  See, I think it’s human nature to pick the easy route sometimes. Cutting people off and saying goodbye when emotions are running high seems to be so much easier than to sit and fight for something for the second, third, or fourth time (or more). Sometimes, we get tired of starting over in relationships. Friendships. Family fall-outs. When we are drained from the relationship, we want to let it go. It’s all good as you’re saying goodbye to yet another person that you care about…because in that moment it’s just not worth it anymore. You’re used to losing people, so you feel it’s only right that you eventually lose this person too. But what about at night, when you’re crying because you wish they understood enough to fight for things not to end? What about when you run across old pictures that remind you of the times spent together? What about when you need to talk to them only to realize that you said goodbye? This is when you realize that being good at saying goodbye isn’t always a good thing…or at least I did.

 

Sam Smith’s song made me realize that I’m so immune to losing people I care about…that I would rather initiate walking out of my best friends life before she walked out of mine. Now I am writing this post to open up a much-needed discussion. Share your stories in the comments below! Feel free to share on your social media pages.

 

 

4 thoughts on “I’m Way Too Good at Goodbyes”

  1. Love this sis. A great read and something I can definitely relate to as a survivor of bullying. I was bullied by my friends which causes me to keep new people in my life at a distance. I would self-sabotage and ultimately I just didn’t trust anyone that i claimed as a friend because I would assume that they would hurt me like my “friends” would. I had trouble maintaining relationships and if i got hurt I would just end the relationship without looking back. It was such an unhealthy way of living. I have learned so much about the importance of friendships and being transparent in the last 2 years and now, I feel so much stronger and am making connections with people that I never thought I could. Great post sis. Thank you for sharing fellow Unshamed Blogger

    1. Ta’lor,

      Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!

      Something that you said really stood out to me: it’s such an unhealthy way of living…just Being willing to cut off people and not look back. Like you mentioned though, sometimes we do that because of what we’ve been through in our life. I’m glad that you have learned to trust again, despite your past with bullying. Your response gave me even more to think about. 💞

  2. I discovered this song after ending a 14 year relationship with my best friend. I look back sometimes and think why was so easy for me to walk away. Although I think of her everyday & wonder what her life has turned out to be in the last couple of months we haven’t been friends, I still can’t convince myself to say anything… it truly is heartbreaking. You hit the nails on the head with this one Miya. Way to go love!

  3. Belan,

    Thank you for reading. 14 years is such a long time…I can only imagine how hard it was to walk away from such friendship. In my opinion, it’s easy because it took so much for us to get to a breaking point. Often times, in friendships of that caliber…you deal with a lot, good and bad. Whereas you haven’t convinced yourself to say anything, some people say things after the fact but it still seems to be too late. I think either way it goes, leaving friendships aren’t easy at all.

    I appreciate your insight and prayers up for your continuous healing! 💞

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