It wasn’t love at first sight.
I remember a time where I didn’t love myself. I liked myself, sure. Loving myself was another story. I would look in the mirror and all I saw was a girl who never put herself first. As a result of that, it took me a long time to actually love myself. And to be honest, I am still working on that.
It’s okay to be SELFISH!
There’s a common misconception that it’s not okay to be selfish. That you should always consider the feelings of others when making decisions. While I certainly think there are some situations that call for you to be selfless; this is not a golden rule to live by. I spent years (and by years I do mean from around the age of 16 until 23) doing everything I possibly could to ensure the others were happy with me choosing them. Now that I look back on it, I realize that they were some of the unhappiest years of my life. I can recall several instances where I lowered my standards to aide someone else’s. I had it programmed in my mind that my needs, my wants, my happiness should all come last in comparison to people who I cared about. It wasn’t until after several heart-breaks, until I lost so-called friends, until I experienced a miscarriage, until I fell in love unexpectedly…It wasn’t until those series of events that I started being a bit more egocentric.
Love You, Pick You
We all know that life isn’t black and white, and neither is the topic of self-love. Dependent on your circumstances, you might have sacrificed a little bit of loving yourself to love others. I get it, I’m not here to judge. At some point though, you have to love yourself enough…to choose yourself. Say no if you can’t do that favor. Walk away from the relationship if it’s taking away your peace of mind. Re-evaluate that friendship if they don’t seem to want the best for you. Do what you want to do, not what everyone else thinks you should do. In no way am I promoting saying to forget those around you…I am simply saying it’s time to live your life for you. How can you love yourself if you are living for everyone else? The simple answer? You can’t. There are other factors that play into loving yourself…but that’s a conversation for another day, or should I say another blog?
Have you struggled with choosing yourself? Tell me all about it in the comments!